One year ago today we entered the MTC. As I reflect on the past year I've asked myself , "Has this experience changed me?" Working on the grounds has been a challenge for me. I have learned to not question my physical abilities so much. I have learned that I can do physical work longer than I thought I could. I can drive vehicles bigger than I thought I could. I have learned that most things I worry about never happen or are not as bad as I imagined they would be.
I've deepened my appreciation for the faith and courage of the people who lived here. I've also broadened my understanding of who those people were. Most of them had not gone through the persecutions of Missouri, but made significant sacrifices to be here. I've deepened my appreciation for the city of Nauvoo itself and what was accomplished here through the efforts of Joseph Smith and those who followed him. i've come to understand why the Lord called Nauvoo the corner stone of Zion. I've deepened my understanding of the importance of gathering.
The greatest sacrifice missionaries make, is giving up their time to help accomplish the work where they are serving. There were days when I wondered if the work I was doing was more important than what I'd be doing at home. But as I talk with friends who have gone home, their challenge is feeling that what they are doing at home is making a difference, as it had while they were here.
I don't know at what point I began feeling like our work in the gardens was an important contribution to this sacred place, but one day I did realize that it was important. At first my attitude was, someone has to do the weeding, the planting, the watering, and it may as well be me. Now I feel like it is a privilege to do this work. Maybe all the people thanking us as they walked by while we were working helped me come to this realization. Maybe President Lusvardi recognizing the FM missionaries efforts each week at Mission Training helped. I'm sure just feeling Jesus' appreciation helped the most.
Working on the sites last winter helped me realize that what site missionaries do is only a small part of being here. We each make our contribution to creating the spirit of Nauvoo, and the gardens and the maintenance of the buildings, the comfort of the houses the missionaries live in, the care of the horses, are all equally important as the tours the site missionaries do.
But has gaining this knowledge changed my character?
I really don't think I'll know if any of this has changed my character, if I'm coming closer to Christ's example, until I'm back in my regular life. I am serving with the best people I've ever known. Their example of kindness and loving others has been enormously helpful to me, especially the women I've worked with on the grounds crew.
I am having a hard time expressing my feelings about Christ and how that has changed in the past year. Let me just say the need for a Savior has never been more apparent to me. I need to speak about him more often, to follow Nephi's expression, "we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ. "
I've always known that love of family is paramount. It's been observed that when seniors are asked to go on missions they often cite missing their grandchildren as a reason to hesitate. It has been hard to leave the little ones who are changing so rapidly. Although they've been able to visit us here, and we were able to go take care of Kelley's needs in June, I've never missed them so much as I have here. Their visits have been so appreciated. Not being able to just up and go when I wanted to see them has been the hardest thing. And it is always the happiest reason missionaries give when they are saying good-bye to Nauvoo. They hate to leave, but they love to go home to their family. I also look forward to that. But for now, I want to make the next 6 months a time to serve the Lord with all of my heart, might, mind, and strength. I've learned the best way to do this is one day at a time.
No comments:
Post a Comment